almost a year

what a day. not that particular busy but still there are some work need to be done. it was raining almost the whole day and it was really really cold in the office.

these few days i kept pondering about something a person told me. well, i couldn't blog it out here, something quite personal. just that, i was just thinking, when that person told me about a few things, does that person even know what they are talking about. just a very strange feeling and kept me pondering.

anyway, it has been almost a year that i'm back down south and i would say, life has slow down. there are struggles and challenges throughout, coping with the new environment, relationships, work and those minor things. i'm quite physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. i may never realise it but sometimes you only see things when you've slow down.

i couldn't deny that i miss life with my friends in penang. those after work friday activities, saturday and sunday plans to go hiking, gym, shopping, discussing who should fetch who to these places, rushing from places to places to meet friends for appointments, mamak sessions, movies, gatherings and it's endless. i miss those but still a person have to move on to grow and be better.

i've cut down a lot on movies here when i use to go for movies at least once a week in pg, no more mamak sessions, no more hiking at my fav place, less plans with friends. yea, i did loathe the life like this but looking at the bright side, there are many things i won't start doing if i kept leading the life i used to have. i've spend a lot more time for myself.

somehow or rather, i knew this is just a path that i'm passing through. my long term plan is not here. a lot of things that i tried to work out with my own effort but i'm just too exhausted and faced with dissapointments. a senior once told me long time ago, when you do something with your own effort and without putting God in, you'll get tired easily. true.

there are still many things i'm not happy about and learning to accept it. i'm still human anyway. i guess i'll just need to take a step at a time and trust in God.

To realise the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.